Creating Family Community
Father's Support Group
Mother's Support Group
Parents as Partners
© The Osiris Group
All Rights Reserved
Lessons My Father Taught Me
It takes Two Parents and a Healthy
Village to Raise a Child
Since our practices are strictly home based we at
the Osiris Group have had the chance to see exactly why millions of black homes headed
by mostly black females are fighting a losing battle to the city streets,
especially in America's
ghettos. In most single family homes, its a fact that the fathers are not in
their children's lives and many never were.
I want to share some thoughts on this most
important topic. In addition, my taking issue is not with black females heads
of household, who are
waging a gallant battle trying to prevent their children from becoming the latest statistic(s).
My issue is that young males need fathers in their everyday lives.
The Difference a
Fathers Involvement Can Make
|Everyday clinicians like the ones employed at
the Osiris Group across America are working with black males helping them to
process issues which range from anger, self esteem, self-image, identity,
violence, drugs, gangs, sex, education, work, careers, parenting, respect,
responsibility, hostility, community, peace, black / white relationship and
the prison complex just to name a few.
Working directly in these homes everyday I
have come to truly value prevention over intervention.
I can say for certain what many of my neighbors already recognize is our
interventions are not very successful, nor are we able to divert many young
black males from their current paths of self –destruction. Clinicians
enter the picture when the identity and character of many of these young
brothers has been form, and we, like their parents have to watch helplessly as
they destroyed themselves because the street life is calling.
The message we at the Osiris Group wishes to share
with our parents is that during the formative years of a Childs (from birth
toage10) early life cycle is when he is more amenable to be taught and
instructed. This is a period when fathers must be involved in the development
and value-shaping period of these young black boys. So we at the Osiris Group
would like to do is just remind everyone the important role fathers play in the
socializing process of these young males.
It was my father who taught me the importance of
personal hygiene, my father also taught me to remove my hat from my head once I
entered a building, I never quite understood why but since he and other black
men were doing it I figure it could not be all bad. It was my father who taught
me under no circumstance was I to refer to Black women as whores or bitches, and
you was never, never allowed to fight or hit black females. My father taught me
that. It was father who introduces me and my six brothers to chores around the
house, I guess the message being you live here you work here.
It was my father who taught me how to handle
failure without perceiving myself as a failure. It was Dad who introduces me to
the world competition through the world of sports, I remember my dad took me to
see the Birmingham Barons of the old Negro baseball league. It was my dad who
taught me my first lessons on race, I can still hear him telling me as a young
kid just because white people call us niggers does not mean we are suppose to
prove them right.
It was my dad who taught me about sex and
responsibility, my dad would always say to me that I should not make him a
grandparent until I could afford it, I guess dad knew from supporting eight kids
that you needed more than just love, you needed also maturity and income. I was
thirty-eight when I had my only child.
It was my dad who taught me the importance of being
an independent thinker, and that lesson kept me out of jail and I believe prison
when so many of my friends did not have the courage to say no when presented
with ideas which was illegal. Being raised as an independent thinker my
self-worth or self-esteem was not depended on what my so-call friends thought
And finally, it was my father who taught me the
importance of being a entrepreneurial, my dad would always say to me Larry, any
fool can get a job if he follows these five simple minded rules. 1. Do not scare
white folks when you go in for the interview, white folks are already afraid of
you so don’t add to their fear. 2. Be well dress, white shirt, press slacks,
shoe shine.3. Speak your best version of standard English.4. Make sure your hair
is well groom. 5.Last but least be on time.
These five simple-minded rules as my dad refer to
them has served me well since 1967 when I went for my first job as a summer
counselor. By the way some of you might recall those simple minded rules today
are call soft skills and we are spending billons of dollars trying to teach
today’s youths something our fathers of the past naturally taught us before we
went into the world.
There are over ONE MILLION black men incarcerate in 2003 according to law enforcement, members of the Osiris Group want to say
loud and clear that these blacks boys we are struggling to safe needs their
fathers love and instruction and not clinicians. It should be crystal clear to
the million of black females who struggling with these boys, that you need these
fathers home, because it is definitely clear to us that what is needed here are
more fathers at home raising their sons.