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Lessons My Father Taught Me

It takes Two Parents and a Healthy Village to Raise a Child

Since our practices are strictly home based we at the Osiris Group have had the chance to see exactly why millions of black homes headed by mostly black females are fighting a losing battle to the city streets, especially in America's ghettos. In most single family homes, its a fact that the fathers are not in their children's lives and many never were. 

I want to share some thoughts on this most important topic. In addition, my taking issue is not with black females heads of household, who are waging a gallant battle trying to prevent their children from becoming the latest statistic(s).  My issue is that young males need fathers in their everyday lives.

The Difference a Fathers Involvement Can Make

Everyday clinicians like the ones employed at the Osiris Group across America are working with black males helping them to process issues which range from anger, self esteem, self-image, identity, violence, drugs, gangs, sex, education, work, careers, parenting, respect, responsibility, hostility, community, peace, black / white relationship and the prison complex just to name a few.

Working directly in these homes everyday I have come to truly value prevention over intervention.  I can say for certain what many of my neighbors already recognize is our interventions are not very successful, nor are we able to divert many young black males from their current paths of self –destruction.  Clinicians enter the picture when the identity and character of many of these young brothers has been form, and we, like their parents have to watch helplessly as they destroyed themselves because the street life is calling.

The message we at the Osiris Group wishes to share with our parents is that during the formative years of a Childs (from birth toage10) early life cycle is when he is more amenable to be taught and instructed. This is a period when fathers must be involved in the development and value-shaping period of these young black boys. So we at the Osiris Group would like to do is just remind everyone the important role fathers play in the socializing process of these young males.

It was my father who taught me the importance of personal hygiene, my father also taught me to remove my hat from my head once I entered a building, I never quite understood why but since he and other black men were doing it I figure it could not be all bad. It was my father who taught me under no circumstance was I to refer to Black women as whores or bitches, and you was never, never allowed to fight or hit black females. My father taught me that. It was father who introduces me and my six brothers to chores around the house, I guess the message being you live here you work here.

It was my father who taught me how to handle failure without perceiving myself as a failure. It was Dad who introduces me to the world competition through the world of sports, I remember my dad took me to see the Birmingham Barons of the old Negro baseball league. It was my dad who taught me my first lessons on race, I can still hear him telling me as a young kid just because white people call us niggers does not mean we are suppose to prove them right.

It was my dad who taught me about sex and responsibility, my dad would always say to me that I should not make him a grandparent until I could afford it, I guess dad knew from supporting eight kids that you needed more than just love, you needed also maturity and income. I was thirty-eight when I had my only child.

It was my dad who taught me the importance of being an independent thinker, and that lesson kept me out of jail and I believe prison when so many of my friends did not have the courage to say no when presented with ideas which was illegal. Being raised as an independent thinker my self-worth or self-esteem was not depended on what my so-call friends thought about me.

And finally, it was my father who taught me the importance of being a entrepreneurial, my dad would always say to me Larry, any fool can get a job if he follows these five simple minded rules. 1. Do not scare white folks when you go in for the interview, white folks are already afraid of you so don’t add to their fear. 2. Be well dress, white shirt, press slacks, shoe shine.3. Speak your best version of standard English.4. Make sure your hair is well groom. 5.Last but least be on time.

These five simple-minded rules as my dad refer to them has served me well since 1967 when I went for my first job as a summer counselor. By the way some of you might recall those simple minded rules today are call soft skills and we are spending billons of dollars trying to teach today’s youths something our fathers of the past naturally taught us before we went into the world.

 There are over ONE MILLION black men incarcerate in 2003 according to law enforcement, members of the Osiris Group want to say loud and clear that these blacks boys we are struggling to safe needs their fathers love and instruction and not clinicians. It should be crystal clear to the million of black females who struggling with these boys, that you need these fathers home, because it is definitely clear to us that what is needed here are more fathers at home raising their sons.